Living in a Virtual Cave

Varietal: Apple Cinnamon Vintage: Best if used by 15JUN2025 ABV: 0.0 ☹️ Tasting Notes: No appreciable difference from the classic Honey Nut varietal, in either tone or sheen. Here is where our paths diverge: HNC can claim a devoted following as the “O.G. of O.G.” sweet variations; however, as the newcomer, Apple Cinnamon has much work ahead of it to de-throne the champion. Feeble cinnamon on the nose introduces the mildest of graham cracker flavor, easily overcome by a thrust of Western Canadian oat. Rather flabby mouthfeel and no real apple to speak of beyond the claims of the box label. Eat now, but maybe next time hold out for a Pop-Tart.

 2 parts Evan Willams discovered in the back of a broom closet (IYKYK) 1/2 tsp Log Cabin 2 dashes sweet orange marmalade Stir over ice, garnish with anything from the fruit hors d'oeuvre (pineapple for me). Enjoy immediately from the other room while everyone is distracted by football.

Varietal: Honey Nut Vintage: Best if used by 21AUG2025 ABV: 0.0 ☹️ Tasting Notes: Straw hue identical to the O.G. variant with a vague sheen owing to the “honey” glaze. Tincture of arid autumn grains and Midwestern stoicism on the nose. Dusty minerality gives way to familiar oaty midtones, co-mingled with nominal sweetness delivering the promise of an apiary to the tongue. A finish of amaretti biscotti checks in so the General Mills legal team dodges an injunction to remove Nut from the box label. Eat now. DID YOU KNOW General Mills is active in bee conservation efforts? For more than 10 years now they’ve been investing in the Xerces Society which promotes conservation of this planet’s pollinators and their habitats. Nice! Buy a box, save a bee friend.

messy bathrooms inadequate charging stations weird off brand food options loud TV “news” programming at the gates  water filters are always red (overdue for change) necessary to walk through an ad hoc sports bar to get to the seating area outside your gate connections are usually delayed spotty free WiFi  dead bodies at Gate 17 Pepsi products It took the Israelites 40 years to escape the desert and what did we do? Marched right back in and built a shitty airport.

If you were a composer, but instead of symphonies, or cat food jingles, you wrote hold music, would you be proud of your work? Would it be a badge of honor if your hold music compositions were selected for utility companies, airlines, or other customer service providers? Maybe there's a secret club of millionaire hold music composers out there with a fancy lair, tiny phone speakers throughout, and a rotating playlist of the greatest hold music melodies of all time.  I never want to visit that lair. 

Songs do not need to be "Christmas" songs exclusively. You may include songs referencing winter holidays (Nov-Dec-Jan only, please) and/or winterish weather conditions generally associated with winter holidays and especially Christmas. There can be no more than one representation of each song. Choose a winner and be able to defend your selection because I will disagree with you because you are wrong. I am an expert. No more than one song per artist (exceptions made for soloists who also perform with bands, or duets, or large-scale performances, like Band Aid). If you need more than one track from King Bing’s 1955 Merry Christmas classic I get it, but you should just listen to that album instead. Playlists are intended for variety.  No Little Drummer Boy. There are two acceptable versions (fight me) but even so, for your friends participating in the annual Little Drummer Boy Challenge it’s the gift no one wants to be road tripping to Gam-Gam's house for Christmas Eve...

Varietal: O.G. flavor Vintage: Best if used by 19MAR2025 ABV: 0.0 ☹️ Tasting Notes: Oaty in colour, no signs of ageing, youthful. Dry cardboard and hints of printer’s ink in attack, opening to grasslands on the second nose. Siloed in American oak or at least kept very near an open box of #2 pencils. Clean, oat-like notes on the palate with just a whisper of corn starch and a touch of cow pasture. Wholesome finish. Best paired with blueberries and/or bananas. Eat now.

First truly grey morning of the year and I thought we’d never get here! We always “get here” but it nevertheless comes with an irrational sense of relief, irrational in the same way when time rolls back every fall we are required by an unseen governing force to remark on how much darker the days have become. Not sure why I welcome this weather like I do. As soon as the sun disappears seasonal depression can’t be far behind. The dogs remain unaffected by these changes. They are just happy to be outside, rain or shine. Romp outside, yell at the squirrels, consume mass quantities of kibble, then it’s inside again for First Nap. Are dogs consistently happy because of their limited brain capacity, or is it because they’ve got their priorities in order and have set realistic expectations of themselves and what can be accomplished in a single day to maintain work/life balance? Are squirrels unaffected by a dog’s yelling because of their limited brain capacity, or is it because of their abilit...

ice cream for breakfast lazy Sunday on the couch who wants more coffee?

Greetings & Salivations. Unseasonably cool and breezy tonight. Word on the street is we're experiencing a full moon but with all this cloud cover how the hell should I know? Good question - it's because of the fur sprouting on the backs of my hands and the elongation of my canines. Fall means more deer sightings in the greenbelt. Might head out there later for a snack.

 Hola mes amis, I feel tonight should be taco night.  Who's with me?  The sun has been shining except for when it hasn't been.  It's the end of the week, and why only have tacos on Tuesday?  Go ahead, have some tacos.   It's 3pm and I'm still in my day pajamas.  Yeah, tacos sound good. 

 Konichiwa, bitches.  Welcome to the virtual cave life.  No real news.  Nothing of real value.  Just an escape.  In today's top news, I had to open a new can of pumpkin for the dog's dinner.  There were some high tides too.  Oh, I also saw an eagle.  Peace out.